Sunday’s Scripture ~ Psalm 46
I am a worrier. I worry about everything.
Worrying stems from a sense of inadequacy – a place of not being enough. I have always felt that there is more that I could be doing no matter what I am doing – whether I am working or cleaning or resting or even having fun. Occasionally Andrew and I have the opportunity to visit one of the local amusement parks in our area and – yes – I admit – that I will think to myself as we are strolling through Adventureland that I could be strolling more productively, or if we had made this turn or that turn we would have missed this whole hoard of folks that have now beat us in line for DoleWhip.
And if you haven’t ever had DoleWhip – you need to get on that.
I think because I am a worrier I always feel that I need to be doing something. Andrew tells me all the time when we are home, “Sarah – sit down and relax” while I continue to flit around the house doing whatever it is that I am doing.
Why do I do all these things? Because the opposite of doing these things is stillness. And why do I not like stillness?
Honestly? Because I like to be in control.
Today’s confessions – I am a worrier. I always feel that I need to be doing something. I like to be in control and I understand stillness as a relinquishing of control.
For some reason I do not take the same posture of finding the more efficient or productive way to be still that I employ in other areas of my life. Stillness is not about me and what I am doing. Stillness is a space to sit, hear, and be with what God is doing.
And that is uncomfortable…because if God is in control…then I.am.not.
Why is that so uncomfortable? Well I am a creature of habit. I like things the way I like them. For example, I do not know why I take the time to browse menus at restaurants because I order the same meal without fail according to what that restaurant offers. As a creature of habit, I have creature comforts. I have comfort zones. And what if being still and sitting with, hearing, and being with what God is doing invites me out of my comfort zone? What if the revelation in the stillness takes me somewhere new? What if the revelation in the stillness tells me to stop something I love and to start something that before I would not touch with a 27 and 3/8s foot pole??
But I guess I will not know if I do not become still.
My head knows that God does not want me to worry or find my worth in the tasks I accomplish (or put myself down for the tasks I leave undone) or be controlling. My head knows. Sometimes the pathway from my head knowing something and my heart incarnating that knowledge in my life is very fluid…and then other times…not so much. What will help with that fluidity? What will reinforce God’s truth in my life?
God you have a funny way of working sometimes…
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth.”
God is exalted by all people all across the earth. In the stillness I am invited to join their praise. If I neglect the stillness, God will still be praised, but my voice will not be counted among them. That hurts me…and I believe that hurts God, too.
I am going to find some time to be still today. To sit. To listen. To be. To praise.
Will you join me?
Prayer: “Eternal God, the refuge and help of all your children, we praise you for all you have given us, for all you have done for us, for all that you are to us. In our weakness, you are strength, in our darkness, you are light, in our sorrow, you are comfort and peace. We cannot number your blessings, we cannot declare your love: For all your blessings we bless you. May we live as in your presence, and love the things that you love, and serve you in our daily lives; through Jesus Christ our Lord.”* Amen.
*Prayer of Saint Boniface, http://re-worship.blogspot.ca/2014/06/prayer-of-saint-boniface.html.