Wilderness Trials

Sunday’s Scripture ~ Luke 4:1-13

SPOILER ALERT! This week’s Sunday Stiletto contains reference to a scene in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Hopefully I will not give away too much…but this scene is just too good.

Read on.

Rey finds herself in a storage closet in Maz Kanata’s Canteen and – after listening to the Force, that she would not identify as the Force at this time, nevertheless she responds to it intuitively – Rey uncovers a light saber. Rey takes hold of the saber and immediately experiences a number of flashbacks, her own and others. Frightened and overwhelmed, she returns the saber to its box and runs from the room. Maz finds Rey in the hallway of her Canteen’s basement. A dialogue ensues. Rey apologizes for being in that part of Maz’s Canteen; Maz is not concerned. In fact, Maz encourages Rey to take the saber and to see where the saber will take her. Rey ponders this proposal…and then declines. She has to get back to Jakku.

Rey is saddened by her decision to leave…and to leave the light saber. Like a mother, Maz comforts Rey. Looking deep into her eyes Maz says to Rey, “The belonging you seek is not behind you, but ahead.”

When I am in the midst of a personal wilderness experience – when I feel abandoned, afraid, alone, angry, lost, and out of control – I tend to dwell on what is behind me instead of ahead. I harp on my failures. I am quick to refuse help because I think I can figure it out on my own…and because of my actions I do not think I deserve help.

I wallow. I weep. I wander.

Guilt grows. Shame showers. And I think, what if I could just go back to before this happened? Can I call a mulligan on this conversation? This day? This experience in my life? Why did we get rid of rewind buttons? Like Cher, like many of us, I wish I could turn back time.

But we cannot turn back time. We do not have the benefit of a cosmic mulligan. And to some extent I am thankful, because if there were cosmic mulligans, there might also be a chance that the film Groundhog Day could be a reality…and I do not want that either!

Rey wanted to return to Jakku; she was convinced that her future was there in that desert, scavenging through Imperial and Resistance wreckage. When I falter in my faith, when I wreak havoc in relationships, I want to go back to where I think my future is…before the incident. But that is not where my future is. The belonging I seek – the belonging I have broken because of my selfish words or selfish desires – cannot be restored by going behind me. The belonging I seek can only be restored by going ahead purposefully, seeking forgiveness with acts and words of reconciliation.

For me this process looks this way:

  1. Name my wilderness – what am I experiencing?
  2. Identify how I got myself here – where did I fall from temptation into sin?
  3. Learn a lesson – this is critical! If a lesson is not learned, then it is only a matter of time before I make a repeat visit to this or another wilderness.
  4. Approach the person I harmed – a sibling in Christ and/or God, my Creator – and ask for forgiveness, share what I learned through this experience, and ask that person to help me in strengthening my belonging into the future.

My process does not have to be your process, but it can be a help as you process how you respond to your personal wilderness experiences and move towards the belonging that God desires for you.

Maz’s words were right for Rey…they are right for all of us, “The belonging you seek is not behind you, but ahead.”

Prayer: Sweet Jesus, “As thou with Satan didst contend, and didst the victory win, O give us strength in thee to fight, in thee to conquer sin. As thou didst hunger bear, and thirst, so teach us gracious Lord, to die to self, and chiefly live by thy most holy word.”* Amen.

*”Lord, Who Throughout These Forty Days,” The United Methodist Hymnal 269.

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